Circumstances

Circumstances: reasons, excuses and unpredictables.

  A couple of days ago I was driving (up Elmbrook hill, if you must know) where there is a level median in the road. There was a car with it's flashers on sitting in the median. I looked in to see if there was anyone inside- there was. The most I could tell was that "it" was a "he" because I drove on my way. There were cars behind me and I had somewhere to be. The circumstances, you see, were not perfect for me to roll down a window and see if everything was ok. Excuse.

  I tried to read Grant's expression as he told me his car broke down- for good. It was sad and - not exactly upset but something like it. What college student has money to buy a car? I guess sometimes God takes circumstances and changes them without a warning sign. Unpredictable.

  I have never been so uneasy about another persons life as I am now, about one of my best and dearest friends. I am worried she has convinced herself that circumstances have changed in a relationship when they haven't. But I dont know.  Nor do I know Gods plan for her life. God teach me to pray instead of worry. Reason.

  Sometimes living at home drives me crazy. But these are the best circumstances I could be in. I know I belong here and God has plans for me here- and now. My dad said something that struck me hard today - "God has each day planned out for us. So there is never too much to do in one day and not too little." Hillsong's "Mighty to Save" line comes to mind - Author of Salvation. (as Grant brought my attention to it this morning in worship). My first thought is to cringe at the days I have wasted. Excuse. 

Sometimes everything becomes so clear. (and then I feel ashamed I didnt see it before). There is one truth that hits me continually. The secret to life. Show the world God's light by serving others. By ignoring the circumstances. By stopping traffic.

Years Later....

Of course I am going to apologize to my hardy group of avid readers. My posts have been.... non existent. On the bright side, the reason for the lack of postage is because I have been spending my 24/7s with most of you. :) 

Overviews can be tedious so I will be brief. Christmas was beautiful and peaceful. Almost too peaceful without Bethany and Nate at work Christmas Eve... But Christmas Day made up for it with the typical van ride to the cities (even Grant... it takes a special guy to brave hours trapped with Tweetens...) and had chili at Bethanys apartment. My favorite part is when we break out the guitars and sing. :) Christmas is followed by a few days in a hotel with my extended family playing board games and eating. New Years was.... pretty much the same. haha, Board games, card games and way to much food - OH plus my best friends :) so it was perfect. 

Aren't relationships fascinating? Learning about them, hearing about them, being in them... Just because we are PEOPLE we all crave them. Most recently I have found romantic relationships to be especially interesting. Like REAL relationships. Real Love. Another innate crave. The age I am is weird. On the brink of real life and childhood. Some people my age are engaged- or even married and some hardly think of it. For me, it is something I am ready to begin preparing for- I am not saying that I am planning a dream wedding or something- I mean preparing myself to be the woman God created. Then the wife, then the mother. I want to be the patient, beautiful, strong servant. I want to marry a man that is going to take the lead- lead me to Cross and to God's Grace, and I want to be the woman willing to take his lead.  He is a "warrior protecting my heart" (as taken from Dateable :) ) instead of trying to capture it. Equal but different roles. A partnership and a confidant. Without Christ, the relationship is unstable, unsatisfying and temporary. A team with a goal. Like God's 100% selfless, pure love. The sad thing is, this love is hard to find. Marriages are failing in America. If you know me, you know I have my problems with my parents. One thing I have always admired was their love- their marriage. There are always exceptions, but there a few things I have picked up from my parents through the years in how to have a successful marriage. 

1. United We Stand. Even when I KNEW they disagreed, they would hardly show it to the kids. They were a united front - and as frustrating as it is to argue with a united front, I admire them.

2. Confide. I see, and hear them sharing stories (frustrations, problems) about their day. It may seem simple, but what would happen without that? I remember for a short time in my life when my dad traveled for work, my mom waiting for his call on the nights he was gone. Kind of a bazaar high school circumstance. 

3. Pray together. The third strand.

Its been over a week since I wrote that ^ and was planning to finish it... but here I am with no idea where I was planning to end. So I will just say that my hope would be to be in a God fearing relationship- and marriage. Grant and I had a conversation today about encouraging each other spiritually - and while we (and I) am not perfect, and not where we want to be, I love being encouraged and prayed for by the guy I care about. I pray the same for all my friends.