for Courage.

This feeling takes me back to 6th grade. To be specific, the night before my first day of sixth grade. Not only was 6th grade the zenith (reach the zenith.... reach the highest point in the sky...) of awkward for me in life - we're talkin' braces, occasional glasses, bad hair cuts, and the mess of a face that didn't know how to wear make-up - and it all had to take place at a brand new school. Having gone to a microscopic sized Lutheran school, I was not exactly prepared for the big, strange, and most of all Brookfield, Middle School. and I knew it. I saw all the Ugly Betty moments I would have. And I imagined them all night before my first day. I wish I could have a "but it's ok! I ended up loving it!" ending, but I don't. I made some great friends that, in true junior high fashion, turned out to be not-so-great. I switched back to the puny Lutheran School and loved it. 

This kinda feels like that. Tomorrow is the first day of my field work for Early Childhood Education. I am so excited/nervous! Excited - to finally get a taste of what I am in for, because I am with 2nd grade! :) and because it's a new experience. Nervous - I have no idea what I am doing and have no business acting like a teacher when Im NOT one! ahhh! haha I have never been inside an MPS (Milwaukee Public School), and I have heard countless horror stories from other girls in my major. Just this morning I was talking to one who had her first day. "At one point, the teacher just totally lost control of the class and started SCREAMING at them!" uhhh... yikes! One relief is that I do not have to do any planning for the class - just helping! So I know after tomorrow I am sure I'll have a great time... its just getting there. 

Speaking of "Getting There" (yes, this is a test to weed out the hardcore Mary-Kate and Ashley fans from the occasional watchers...) That was the title of my latest poem for my creative writing class :) It just fit, and although I struggled with it because its also the title of the worst movie ever made, I decided to give the title a second chance at success. This class has been amazing! We have poems due every week and get tons of feed back - it feels like a community. Unfortunately, all of the writing I have been doing for that class has kind of taken my blogging energy. Sorry. Maybe I will post some of my finished poems after a few drafts... 

Tonight was one of the nights I love living at home. I finished work and was home and setting the table for dinner. (I thought it would be funny to set Julia's place with a sippy cup and baby silver ware... to which my dad retaliated by switching my cup to a tiny medicine cup when I wasn't looking... oh Dad... ok it doesn't sound funny now but at the time it was). When we got into this conversation about World Injustices. I looked around at how grown up we all were! We got into Darfur and Blood Diamond... and by the end it was hard to not be embarrassed by my own negligence.  Micah 6:8 "What does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and walk humbly with your God." The passion to do justly is fleeting with me. I dream of trips witnessing and being part of breaking social injustice. Then I realize I would rather just sit comfortably. Not that there is only one or the other... It just feels like it is sometimes. How can I help? Step one: Step out of my small world and see the real one right outside. 

Tonight I pray for Courage. For tomorrow and for each day after. The courage to brave the unknown, the courage to make change, and to live the Daring Life.